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Friday, October 25, 2013

DESIRES

Ah! Those desires! rolled into one
Hibernated ball, known to none
Evoking a tickle
of ephemeral moments of fickle
formations, of dreams spun

birthing fleeting joyous seconds, shun,
Shut (cocooned) dusted and done
as wishful definitions of a string-less wriggle
Ah! Those desires!

Transmuting an insouciant run
Into a velocity, crashing into a ton
of emotions packed within, shedding nickel
falsies to break-free the knuckle
Bending at will to break, heckle
the mundane into a journey once begun
Ah! Those desires

Form for All ~ the Rondeau introduced to the Bar by Tony. The rhymes sent me into a spin!!



15 comments:

  1. Very cool refrain.. and a nice flow.. really difficult rhymes to choose.. but it works...

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  2. Really good - the rentrement/refrain and your clever use of slant rhymes amke this a delight to read.

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  3. So true you speak and wonderfully justified the form!

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  4. Well done with the refrain ~ Such a challenging rhyming pattern ~ Cheers & have a lovely weekend ~

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  5. I admire your ability to get those rhymes to work - it's so easy to back yourself into a corner with something so 'fixed' as this form. This was my first ever and it did make me scratch my head a few times! Well done!

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  6. wishful definitions of a string-less wriggle,,,ha, nice...shedding nickle falsies...ha....you had fun with this...you can tell...smiles.

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  7. Amid the leaps and swirls of flight here is the dream of it all, dusted and done, but Ah! those desires. Nice!

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  8. Wow...lots of fun to read...shredded nickel speaks loudly ;)

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  9. Nicely done. Very good use of the form.

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  10. Complex rhymes and I appreciate vocab, good form and a lot of thought!

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  11. Very nicely handled..lovely wordplay! Enjoyed reading, Akila.

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  12. Great energy here! Works so well with subject-- the form like a springboard. Thanks. Karin of Manicddaily

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Brickbats and bouquets, both are welcome!