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Wednesday, June 12, 2013

IN YOU, WITH YOU (barbaric love)

(Holy Motors clipping- Saw the video in mute)

In a town painted surreal
Silenced by grief at tombstones
I find my way to find my life
In you, with you

Roses, ancient to our love, supple
Chewed to tinker a smoky breath, familiar
Carry the aroma of our saga
Amidst teeming civilization
Cutting out the blocks
I find my way to find my life
In you, with you

Through alleys I am beckoned
Allured by sensations of effervescent souls
Find you shining in a spotlight
Through the cheering mob, professing love
No greater than mine, echeloned with time
I find my way to find my life
In you, with you

I catch attention, but
I seek attention of your eyes
Velvet, shiny, fanned by lashes
Reprise the bond
Leading me to
I, find my way to find my life
In you, with you.

Deaf to clicking cameras, glib conversations
Fingers pointing to my demeanour
Bitten to spit for I care none
I care none other than you
Now gazing to connect, inviting me
To anoint you with the juice of our tender love
Draped in the blood of passion
You surrender my mannequin
So do I, leading you to
Leading me to
I, find my way to find my life

In you, with you.


For Out of Standard: Film School Drop Out Edition by Isadora Gruye for an out of the box theme. 


13 comments:

  1. Wow! What a tale of love! You took a direction with this piece I hadn't even considered. Love it!!

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  2. I like the way you mentioned the roses. Your voice is telling a rather haunting tale!

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  3. I certainly didn't see it as a love poem, but you did...well done!
    K

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  4. This:

    "Leading me to
    I, find my way to find my life
    In you, with you."

    This is so pressing and personal and I love the leading following feeling that you evoked in this poem. Well done!!

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  5. Yes, it can be seen as romantic (I did not think of this monkey business in the face of such intimate depths of the clips) but then vampires and werewolves are in it seems in Love's forbidden magic evidently only strong coffee can replace our addictions in the night.

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  7. I admire how you built a narrative around the man from the sewer and the model. This piece works well even out side of the clip. The first stanza sets a tone which is somber but vibrantly so: sorry if that seems like an oxymoron. For some reason the line Silenced by grief at tombstones really struck a chord and resonated with me. What a powerful line, delivered cleanly and without apology.

    Well done and viva la!

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  8. Wow love it..its dark and awesome

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  9. I am very interested to see how you took on the narrative voice of the strange man in green. It was intriguing to read from his perspective, the events which unfolded in the clip.

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  10. I love the way you work the repetition!

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  11. A crazy, romantic, vivid, witty, pleasing narrative. Just loved this, Akila. Awesome!

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  12. Incredible writing conveying beauty in the "troll's" thinking. Amazing perspective through your words.

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  13. Fine story. It never occurred to me that the man had desires and a story. Contrary to my character, this one makes no attempt to take something which could die. The mannequin is the perfect choice. I also enjoy the pacing and refrain in this mighty ballad.

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Brickbats and bouquets, both are welcome!