Friday, January 17, 2014

THAT MOMENT - lingers on....

Railing rhythmic with passengers
Shifting – in time and
Yielding to the motion while
Breathing through chugging clamours
Feeding the journey
I carry takeaways from a holiday

Pulling to one of the many halts
The journey pauses to quench desires
Unlocking formidable porosity
Veiled in the humdrum of
Acknowledging the ignorance of facets…

Became such, one such moment
Exploding the humbug scenario
Where I and many tagged along-
Mere puppets!

That moment when I nibbled
Satiating my tongue, gulping down
Thoughts silenced in a crowded routine

That moment when nimble fingers
Forged a place in between the window rims
Sporting an earnest request to me
‘A few crumbs for the baby’ – from me
Clinging on to her - scanty
Eyes met – transcending boundaries

That moment when two slices
With a smile in between
Slipped into those hands
Giving me back a conscience - conscious now
Of walking in-equality of unequal servings
That moment lingers on…..

An experience I had years ago. I can never forget that girl’s face feeding an infant hanging on to her tender waist.

Poets United Mid-Week Motif ~ Equality – a narrative poem but not subjected to the form’s requirement – so I read somewhere.

Banish Boredom: Rx: Verbs! Hopefully managed to banish a bit of boredom with this narrative!


  1. Giving me back a conscience - conscious now.... i like that word play... and the atmosphere...the unexpected connection on a journey....when eyes meet and when there's a possibility to share what we got..

  2. Thank you for digging back to this memory and endowing it with rhythm and quenched desires and window into another world. I agree with Claudia, too, about word choices that clickity clack into deeper thinking.

  3. oo some cool use of verbs....that opening line has hook and is word play of in-equality and conscience as journey in your words...

  4. You really took us with us on that train-ride.. so different from any experience I have had.. you were very succesful in portraying the whole experince... to a large extent with the choice of verbs...

  5. I felt this from the first line and the verbs are what carried me into and through the experience with you. Wonderful!

  6. What a moment it was ~ Those eyes transcending boundaries, sharing the same journey in an instant ~ Thanks for sharing this Akila ~

  7. A strong write here!! I feel what you feel.

  8. Very powerful poem! I am not surprised it made such an impact on you.

  9. I pictured her even before I read the story. Your verse captures it beautifully and paints a vivid picture. Wildly wonderful use of verbs, my friend. LOVE.


Brickbats and bouquets, both are welcome!